The terms racism or racists are often used inappropriately. That can be part of the problem in attempting to discuss race relations. I think we all might be better served if we began our discussion as a discussion of “the others”. I thought about using that as the title of this post but I was afraid no one would understand what the discussion was about and I would begin by losing a large part of the intended audience. By others I mean those groups or “others” who are not like us. Unfortunately, we often subscribe traits to the whole group (others) such as all men, all women, all gays, etc. rather than treating the person in that group we are dealing with as an individual, this is another stumbling block to open and honest discussions. I will return to the concept of others later for now let me return to how we began and the inappropriate use of the word racists.
One common inappropriate use of the word racist is as part of the cancel culture process, a process which has been discussed in another blog on my website, www.avoicecryingoutforfreedom.com. Cancel culture is another way to stop the open discussions that we desperately need. Clearly if we are going to discuss race, we need to have open and honest discussions. How does this work and why? Well, no-one wants to be called a racist, and then have to defend that accusation. Hence it is effectively used to shut down opinions which are in opposition to the first party’s opinion. This is often done when the first party cannot justify their position. So rather that argue their point, they simply call the other person a racist, even if it has nothing to do with the disagreement. So simply shouting racist is never going to help our discussion. So how do we begin?
We need to listen to those who have strong opinions but are willing to consider both sides of the argument. I know of one such book that does that very well. It is Under Our Skin by Ben Watson. Ben Watson is a black man who played tight end in the NFL and when the book was published, he was playing for the New Orleans Saints. New Orleans is my hometown. The grand jury verdict on the Fergerson incident was announced while he was here and it caused a wide range of strong opinions mostly divided on racial lines. The jury found insufficient evidence to convict the white police officer who shot the black man. Ben decided to write down what he was feeling at the time. It was posted on Facebook and the next day he received more than 800,000 likes and this led to his writing the book, Under Our Skin, and he appeared on many TV shows as the voice of reason, despite his strong biases. He wrote down his feelings on many issues and those issues became the chapters of the book. I will list each issue and the short description of how he felt. He begins by saying that not everyone will agree with what he said but it did serve as a good beginning of the racism discussion. Here is what he posted.
Angry: I am angry because the injustice that has been passed down for generations seem to be continuing before our very eyes.
Introspective: I am introspective because sometimes I want to take “our” side without looking at the facts in situations like this.
Embarrassed: I am embarrassed because the looting, violent protests, and lawbreaking only confirm—and in the minds of many, validate—the stereotypes and thus the inferior treatment.
Frustrated: I am frustrated because pop culture, music, and movies glorify these types of police-citizen altercations.
Fearful and Confused: I’m fearful because in the back of mind I know that although I’m a law-biding citizen, I could still be looked upon as a “threat” to those who don’t know me. So, I will continue to have to go the extra mile to earn the benefit of the doubt. I’m confuse because I don’t know why it’s so hard to obey a policeman. You will not win!!! And I don’t know why some policemen abuse their power. Power is a responsibility, not a weapon to brandish and lord over the populace.
Sad and Sympathetic: I’m sad because another young life was lost from his family; the racial divide has widened, a community is in shambles, accusations, insensitivity, hurt, and hatred are boiling over; and we may never know the truth about what happened that day. I’m sympathetic because I wasn’t there, so I don’t know exactly what happened. Maybe Derren Wilson acted within his rights and duty as an officer of the law and killed Michael Brown in self-defense like any of us would do in the circumstance. Now he must fear the backlash against himself and his loved ones when he was only doing his job. What a horrible thing to endure. Or maybe he provoked Michael and ignited the series of events that led to his eventually murdering the young man to prove a point.
Offended: I’m offended because of the insulting comments I’ve seen that are not only insensitive but dismissive to the painful experiences of others.
Hopeless: I’m hopeless I’ve lived long enough to expect things like this to continue to happen. I’m not surprised, and at some point, my little children are going to inherit the weight of being a minority and all that it entails.
Hopeful: I am hopeful because I know that while we still have race issues in America’ we enjoy a much different normal than those of our parents and grandparents. I see it in my personal relationships with teammates, friends, and mentors. And it is a beautiful thing.
Encouraged: I’m encouraged because the problem is not a SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem. SIN is the reason we rebel against authority; SIN is the reason we abuse our authority. SIN is the reason why we are racist and prejudiced and why we lie to cover for our own. SIN is the reason we riot, loot, and burn. But I’m encouraged because God has provided a solution for sin through his son, Jesus, and with it, a transformed heart and mind. One that’s capable of looking past the outward and seeing what’s truly important to every human being. The cure for the Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, and Eric Garner tragedies is not education or exposure. It’s the gospel. Finally, I’m encouraged because the gospel gives mankind hope.
Empowered: In the aftermath of Ferguson and Charleston and Baltimore and so many other incidents and tragedies, I feel empowered to act out my faith in ways that can bridge the racial divide.
You can see he said a mouthful and openly laid out his feelings. In the book he frequently lamented that the blacks do not understand and the whites do not understand, brought about mostly because we do not really know each other. He says this is because of the separation of the races. He says, “Why don’t we get it? Why can’t we grasp the truth that, by separating ourselves as whites and blacks, we are so much less likely to understand one another, show compassion, and prevent violence?” We don’t know each other because we don’t have the opportunity to regularly interact with each other to see that we are both parents, grandparents, fathers, coaches, in other words we are both humans. In the book he traces his family back to his grandparents and their parents and at the end of each history, he states that we are still segregated. In essence, he says that not much has changed over the generations. Some of the segregation is self-segregating but some is forced. He sees this as a real problem and needs to be addressed. He does see some improvement and sees more opportunities to discuss race with friends and teammates. He talks about his friend Chris, who feels being treated unfairly when his son lost his scholarship to someone, perhaps lesser qualified, due to affirmative action programs. Ben talks about being unfairly treated simply because he is black, having been stopped often by policemen, including when taking his wife to the hospital to deliver their first baby. Both sides view each incident differently but he says at least they are talking about it. These open and honest conversations occur too infrequently. I did have the opportunity to exchange two emails with Ben about his book and they are show below:
Dear Mr. Watson:
Just read your book, I hope it gets read by a lot of people and I hope it leads to honest dialogue. Dialogue is important, sometimes I think to be successful in dialogue on serious subjects (even among friends) there needs to be a professional meditator to make it work. Otherwise, we seem to just talk past each other.
You touched on several themes that I have championed, the first being our natural biases. You are probably familiar with Covey’s Seven Habits in which he uses the optical illusion of the young/old lady. When teaching at UNO I have used it to get people to understand that when biased people look at the SAME data they can have totally different viewpoints. Perhaps before I go any further, I should give a short background on myself. I am now a retired old white guy who had three careers, 11 years in the Marine Corps (including a tour in Vietnam), 22 years as an engineer with Entergy, and 14 years as a professor at UNO.
The other theme you used was what I call the CLAN effect. That is, even though you know the other person might be correct, you disagree because to do otherwise would put you at odds with your clan (family, race, etc.). We must get bias and clan effect out front in an honest way, otherwise we will not have a successful dialogue.
I thought your concept of the “danger of a single story” was also a great way to start a dialogue. After all, we all have different stories; we are fathers, veterans, spouses, Christians, teachers, etc. and while no one single story defines, one or more of them can be the ice breaker to connect with the other person in beginning the dialogue. Speaking of this, your letter to your yet unborn daughter was marvelous. I would suggest to you to see if you can get your publisher to print a booklet consisting of only that letter. It could also be a great gift as well as an ice breaker.
Lastly, I want to mention the best Politician in regard to race relations and that would be Nelson Mandela. Why Mandela? When he came to power, he did not use it as a time to “get back” and show his adversaries what it was like to be put upon by the ruling class. Instead, he fully integrated his staff including his old enemies and put out an edict that we all have to get along to have a future for South Africa. We can all learn from his great example. Good luck in being a healer in race relations.
Will Lannes
Watson’s response:
| Benjamin Watson December 5 at 5:39pm Thank you for reading and for giving such poignant feedback. People like you are making America a better place. Great idea about the booklet. I’ll pass that on. Thank you for your service. God bless (Ben did write a book later about preparing men for the birth of their first child, his books can be found by a Google search) |
Clearly our exchange indicated respect for each other. Respect for the other party is essential if we want to have an honest and open dialogue. I think Ben and I could have had a great discussion on race relations but unfortunately the Saints traded Ben to what I believe was his last NFL team and he left town and we never got the chance to talk. So, when I decided to write about racism I did the next best thing, I got out his book and reread it and have used it to start the conversation on race. But before we leave Ben, I need to point out two things. He mentioned briefly two things which are first, that in race relations blacks are often more affected by such things as poverty, education, and the decline of the nuclear family. Again, for those who are familiar with my website I devoted a whole blog to Tom Sowell’s book, Wealth, Poverty and Politics, which is an International Perspective and covers those issues in some detail. I suggest you all read that to cover those issues. Regarding education, Tim Scott, the Senator from South Carolina said that education is the great equalizer, he is right. And again, I addressed this in my post on K-12 Education in which I provided information on how the U.S. was failing to provide education for all students to compete on a world stage. Again, I used a study from another Tom Sowell’s book, Charter Schools, and Their Enemies, to show how Charter Schools were better than what the normal public schools were offering. School choice is important to all races. These posts on my website are good resources when we are discussing race issues.
The second thing Ben said was that this was a very complex problem and that he fell back on his strong Christian beliefs and said that “Nothing will change … unless … Unless God changes our hearts and minds.” That is a real challenge and I will return to that later.
But first I would like to introduce another book, Love Is the Way, by Episcopal Bishop Michael Curry. The subtitle of the book is “Holding on to Hope in Troubling Times.” Bishop Curry grew up in the 60’s and experienced all sorts of racism, including the Jim Crow era yet he never considered himself a victim or waivered from being respectful, kind, and caring about all people. That is because his whole life was driven by love. The type of love that encompassed his whole life is known by its Greek name, Agape love. He said “Agape, love that looks outward, is the love I am most interested in.” He further defined Agape love as a firm commitment to act for the well-being of someone other than yourself.
This is a perfect led into my personal comments on racism. I believe that Agape love can be a major factor in the solution in reducing the divide between the races. That should not indicate that I believe we are all ready to sing Kumbaya and everything will be all right. I am fully aware that evil exists in our world and I was once was fully immersed in that situation during the Vietnam War. The Marine unit I was in was fully involved in the local Vietnamese culture, we lived among them and jointly worked together to protect their crops and villages and we were often not sure that everyone we dealt with was on our side or the enemies. We had to be able to discern who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. While not as intense, or as dangerous, that same condition exists in our society today.
So how do we discern who are the good guys and who are the bad guys? When dealing with race relations there is a simple test. If the person or group you are dealing with advocates things that divide us, they are the bad guys (evil ones). They advocate such things as dividing us as oppressors and victims, teachers versus parents, whites versus blacks; we should reject what they are advocating. If they advocate things that bring us together such as recognizing us as all part of the human race, or as all Americans, they are the good guys and we should embrace them. It is important that we apply this test to each individual or group who is trying to influence us on race relations. That test is important.
I would also like to return to the concept of “others” that was mentioned at the very beginning of this post. The concept of “others” is also mentioned in Bishop Curry’s definition of Agape love, in which he says it is a commitment to act for the well-being of someone other than yourself. This is a very unselfish love. Others refers to groups of people other than the core group to which we belong. I like this approach because others include all groups not like us, not just race. Recall that Ben Watson said one of the big problems between groups, (in this case different races) was that they were segregated. This will not be as easy a step as the test we described earlier but how the races can be brought together will be a major step to solving the problem of the race issue, but first I would like to discuss some helpful rules in dealing with the “other” groups.
One problem is that the ‘other’ groups often get their traits mislabeled. We use a single phrase or comment to describe all the persons within that group, such as all whites are lazy, or all women are gold-diggers. This is another stumbling block since we know that a single phrase never describes everyone in the group. This is a similar problem as the “danger of a single story” mentioned in Ben’s book. The cure is to treat every person we deal with as an individual. That should always be rule number one. Treating everyone the same in a group is the Marxist way and is the antithesis of what America stands for. America stands for individualism. American is the place where everyone in every group can achieve extraordinary things. That is what makes this nation so exceptional.
You cannot understand me until you walk in my shoes is a phrase often used to explain why we do not understand each other. This implies we need to be immersed in the “other’s” world, or culture, for at least some period of time. Many of us have experienced that, often without realizing what was happening at the time. I believe I have experienced that and will give two examples to justify that claim.
When my parents were married in the late 1920s, my mother who was a practicing Methodist, had to agree to raise any children resulting in the marriage as Catholics in order to marry my father (who was Catholic) in his church. Of course, she agreed and she raised, with her husband, my sister and I in the Catholic Church. For those who are old enough, you will recall at that time Protestant and Catholic churches were very separated. At that time Catholics were not allowed to even enter Protestant churches. Of course, there were many other different opinions that each group had of the other, most of which were not true. Fortunately, most of that has changed. However, In answer to some questions about Protestants which we were often asked, we used to light-heartedly say my mom is the best Christian in the family and the rest of are Catholics! The point is I was very much immersed in the “other” group (the Protestants) which gave me a better understanding of that group.
The other example was when I was in Vietnam. Not only were we immersed in the village culture but I had assigned to me an ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam) liaison officer (Lt. Thuc). He spoke excellent English and was not only our connection to the villages but was our liaison with the ARVN military groups and the local government Vietnamese groups (Province Chief, Village Chiefs, etc.). Lt. Thuc was with me constantly and during the last few months he fell in love and wanted to marry a beautiful Vietnamese girl. It was clear to us that he, and the Vietnamese people had the same wants and needs as we did. In other words, we recognized the humanity of the Vietnamese and their culture. Hence when South Vietnam fell to the North invaders, Thuc and his family escaped to Guam. He reached out to me for help. My wife and I made the big decision to individually sponsor Thuc and his family. Like most Vietnamese they have adjusted to the American culture and have done will. We call them the Tran branch of the Lannes family.
I also have been exposed to “other” groups. In our extended family we have lesbians and gays, and one close family member married into a Jewish family. This exposure has reduced the separation between us and those groups and probably is one of the reasons I am more able and willing to engage in deep discussions with “other “groups, including black groups on the race issue.
But what if you have not had significant exposure to other groups. How can you approach them and manage to keep everything civil. The next best thing is to ask questions before you engage in serious conversations. I have always thought if you asked individuals in other groups the question, “what is what you would like me to see in you?” I believe that those who were non-spiritual (secular) would reply, “I want you to see my humanity”. For those who are spiritual (I am speaking of Christians) would say, “I want you to see that Christ also lives in me.”
This last question is important to Christians who seek salvation, recall Mathew 25;34-46.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom is prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
Knowing what was said in Mathew 25;34-46 makes me know we did the right thing in Sponsoring Thuc’s family. If we see God in the face of all mankind, then the separation between groups will disappear. This is what Jesus calls us to do. So how do we accomplish that when Ben Watson says, “Nothing will change … unless … Unless God changes our hearts and minds.”? Some will say that is not a solution in our predominantly secular society. Well, I believe the churches (mostly black, mostly white, and all those in-between) have to lead the way. This is one case in which the much-criticized Catholic Church with all their scandals and problems have led the way. While that statement is based upon what is probably a relatively small sample size, I will use my Church as an example. My church is a small Catholic Church which was first impacted by the influx of Vietnamese refugees in 1975. Fifty years later we still have some Vietnamese people as church members. But more significantly we are in a mixed neighborhood and have a lot of black people as members in significant roles in our church. I believe this occurred because when integration began, Catholic schools were some of the first to offer scholarships and other means of helping so that black children could get a good education. This often led to their parents joining Catholic Churches. Our church activities and the closeness of our members has served to make us aware of the humanity of each other and has provided real friendships. Our church even went into the neighborhood surrounding the Church and invited neighbors to a Sunday barbecue meet and greet just so we could get to know each other better. We need more of this; we need more churches involved. And they best answer Ben Watson’s cry that nothing will happen until God changes the minds and hearts of both groups. But churches are perhaps not the best groups to improve the integration of different ethnicities. Senior citizen groups that offer lifelong learning and a community to gather and meet new people seem to do this best. I belong to one such group called the People Program and established by the Nuns of St. Joseph. They offer courses in art, piano, foreign languages, Thai Chi, Pickle Ball, and much, much more. These groups have a very diverse ethnicity and I have wondered why the friendships formed there among different ethnic groups are so much more stable. I am in several art classes and I believe that it is because we treat each other as artists, helping and encouraging each other. Because we are concentrating on the art, ethnicity does not seem to enter the conversation and these relationships seem to be more likely to continue outside of the program. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of these programs (particularly as compared to the number of churches) and often they are not well known by the general community. We need to cherish and support these groups.
We also need to support such groups for young people. Fortunately, there are a lot of such groups. There are Robotics Clubs, Dance Clubs, Cheerleaders, and of course all manner of competitive sports. All of these, especially sports, are generally highly integrated groups and bring everyone together.
I agree with Ben Watson that the answer to improving race relations involves letting God into our hearts to change our minds and our hearts. I realize in our secular and materialistic society many will say that is a non-starter. But this country was begun as a God-fearing nation and In God We Trust still appears on our money and key buildings. We need to turn back to God with prayers and supplications and get everyone back to the concept of Love God and Love our Neighbors. That is the American way.
One last thing, which also proves how important those questions were about whether persons or groups wanted to divide us apart or bring us together. The Marxists have become so intrenched in our colleges, schools, and political organizations that they have influenced our youth with hatred. This became apparent recently when the terrorist group, Hamas, slaughtered Jewish civilians, including women and children. And yet, the youth of our nation, the United States of American, rallied to support Hamas, the terrorist group. They tried to make the case that the Israelis were also killing innocent Palestinians, this is difficult to prove, Hamas has always used the Palestinians as human shields, placing the Hamas military in schools, playgrounds, and hospitals. The Palestinians are afraid of Hamas who run everything in Gaza and secretly would also like to see the rule of Hamas end! It is indeed a wakeup call that our youth have been brain washed by the entrenched Marxists to divide the country to turn against our own Jewish United States citizens.
I bring this up because all it would take is another Fergerson type of incident and the entrenched Marxists are prepared to get out the mobs to divide the whites and blacks with their effective propaganda. We had better wake up! It is more important than ever that we begin to heal the division between the whites and blacks because there are many among us that want to divide us and bring down America.
Let me end this on a good note by saying, like Ben, I am hopeful. We have established an approach to healing the division between the races; we know the questions to ask, who is trying to divide us – they are the bad guys – who is trying to bring us together, they are the good guys. We also know we should not treat “other” groups by a single story, we need to treat each person in the group as an individual. And we know the types of groups that are best at uniting us. Lastly, we need to all adopt that unselfish love, known by its Greek name, Agape toward our fellow man. I am a realist and we have been trying to do this for so long but I am ready to begin the healing conversations, are you?
May Peace be with you and all people of good will (pun intended).
Love
Will Lannes