Respect for people, teachers, police, laws, property and so much more is sorely missing in our society today. This is not only sad, but when we have no respect for others and institutions it undermines the very principles on which our country is based. Respect for each individual is essential for an orderly and successful society. It is one of the things which has made America such a special place.
Being respected is important to each of us, so why have we abandoned this essential trait of an orderly society? There are probably several reasons, some are unintended consequences of actions and policies but some are a direct result of persons who do not like America and want to undermine the principles which best describe who we are. However perhaps the best reason was offered many years ago by the Reverent Fulton Sheen, his quote is show below:
If it be true that the world has lost its respect for authority, it is only because it lost it first in the home. By a peculiar paradox, as the home loses its authority, the authority of the state becomes tyrannical.
It is remarkable how accurate his statement has predicted what has happened to the authority of the family and how the state has become more tyrannical. The nuclear family has been under attack for some time. Some of the problems were created by the families themselves through the high divorce rate marriages have experienced. This often splits the authority in the family into two warring groups (father vs mother) weakening the whole authority structure of the family. There are also groups whose purpose is to undermine the authority of the nuclear family. One such group is Black Lives Matter; a group started several years ago by three Marxists. They had their goals on their website including one advocating the undermining of the nuclear family. Today I visited their site and could no longer find that goal, although I had printed it out a little over a year ago. But clearly that is still one of their goals because it fits their overall strategy to weaken the authority of institutions in the United States (through defund the police, undermining the family and other initiatives aimed at reducing the effectiveness and authority of these groups).
While Black Lives Matter was the catalyst for these changes, there were many Socialists, Marxists, and Progressives who were already in place in our society, particularly at the local level to support this effort. This was most obvious at the K-12 school level where students were allowed to seek sex change, abortions, and other life changing decisions without informing their parents. School Boards also altered the curriculum without informing the parents. Fortunately, this all came to a head during the Covid lock downs when most schooling was accomplished on-line. As a result, many parents also witnessed what children were being taught on their home computers. This resulted in the many School Boards versus parent meetings which received a great deal of publicity. The government took the side of the School Boards and had the Justice Department label the parents, who were seeking to know what was being taught to their children, as terrorists! This certainly showed that the state had become more tyrannical. This did not work and parents became more united nationwide. The result was a major win in the Governor’s race in Virginia. Also, School Board members were recalled in San Francisco and there were other parental wins in different State School Board elections. Parents had begun the process of retaking their parental authority in the family. But the fight has only just begun.
The decline of the family also has come from the unintended consequences of such things as the Great Society. This was a massive expansion of the welfare state. The goal of this program was to reduce poverty but it also resulted in the decline of the Afro-American family unit. There is data to support this decline and it discussed in some detail in Tom Sowell’s book, Wealth, Poverty and Politics which indicated that 1960 when the Great Society was introduced only 22 percent of black children were being raised by a single mother. Thirty-five years after the Great Society program began, that proportion had risen to 52 percent being raised by a mother alone, 4 percent being raised by a father alone and another 11 percent being raised with neither parent present. By 1995, the proportion of black children in poverty-level families who were being raised without a father present was 85 percent. The presence of both parents (father and mother) in a family is a significant factor in the success of the family. This unintended consequence of the deterioration of the black family still plagues us today.
Since the family is so important as the primary place to learn respect and since, as pointed out above, is under attack from so many culture changes, what do we do? We can be encouraged by the example of the Virginia elections of Governor, Lt. Governor, and State Attorney General in which the parents united to begin the process of retaking their right of parental authority. This was a water-shed event! It was a major victory for parental rights. But we must continue the fight, families need to stay involved in local, state and even national elections to make sure that government and organizations are not attempting to take away parental rights, particularly in life changing decisions for their children and in education. Parents need to be involved in what their children are learning, not just in courses in reading, writing, and arithmetic but also in courses on social norms and civics. This can be done, Virginia showed us how.
What about the problem of well-meaning government programs that have unintended consequences that hurt the family? Since that includes large government programs that can be a tough one. Once the government provides support for persons who do not work, it is difficult to cancel those programs. But one approach is to do what President Bill Clinton did, he required a work component to continue to qualify for welfare payments. This had a positive effect in bringing more people into the workforce and reducing those on welfare. A side benefit was that having a job has the effect of giving a person the feeling of respect, and that is one of the goals we should be trying to achieve. Also, providing government support when the father is not present should not allow the single mother family to become a way of life. When this becomes generational, the government should develop plans for the single mother to be able to leave the program, with employment training, babysitting, and other means for the single mother to become independent. The government has the ability to develop programs to end generational families of single mothers. It is not clear that is one of their goals, but it definitely should be.
So, if all this falls into place and the nuclear family is restored, what next? Being a parent, particularly today, is one of the most difficult tasks to undertake. With drug overdoses for teens, social networks directly affecting our youth, violence in our communities often with young people the victims of this violence, are all things parents must deal with. So, it might be asked when do they have the time to teach their children respect? Well, that should be a parent’s primary responsibility; teaching respect for themselves and others. Why, because it is the foundation which will assist both the parents and the children in dealing with those other major issues. There are lots of ways to teach respect for those in authority and can begin with simply insisting that children respond to their parents and other elders with yes sir and yes mam. But I will leave the details of that task for the families. But the parents must acknowledge that teaching respect is a priority.
As parents take control of their families and teach the importance of respect, can we expect to see more young people helping the elderly opening doors for them, giving up their seats for them, helping them with their groceries as well as no more dumping trash in our communities? Perhaps, but considering the realities of our society today, that may take time, but it is achievable. We all know when we show respect to persons with whom we are dealing with they are much more likely to hear our side of the story and more likely to have a more pleasant exchange. Respect leads to a more orderly and safe society.
I believe that the family is the proper place for children to learn respect. But each of us must support this effort. Let’s all do our part and show respect to others. That would be a good beginning.
Will Lannes